Gramma,
November 8, 2016, Election Day. I wake up with a complete lack of enthusiasm that dogs me all day. It is beautiful out, sunshine and relative warmth. I do not want to get dressed and go to the polls. My blood pressure rises just thinking about it. I feel foggy. The dog and I get in the car for the four mile drive to the town hall.
I am not smiling. Neither is anyone else. I am in the booth with my cheat sheet, so I know who to vote for and who not to vote for. I am pissy because all those relentless political ads I was forced to endure for months are not the assholes that are on my ballot. My cheat sheet does include those who are, but that does not make it better.
The presidential choices disgust me. Neither speaks my language. I feel paralyzed. But, it doesn't matter, because I have sold my vote to my husband for six cases of beer. I do not like his candidate. He is a ruptured pig gut. I do not think he is the lesser of two evils, but it doesn't matter. I am good for my word.
It's a rarity that I climb back in bed. I pick up a book and read a few pages. The cat is curled up nearby. Her fur is soft and comforting. My duress does not matter. Regardless, her tomorrow will be the same as today. The tuna will be forthcoming. The bathroom will be cleaned. The evening news does not predict a clear winner. I am stone faced, resigned to whatever. I share a bag of popcorn with the dogs. The cat welcomes me back.
Dave comes to bed late. There is no word. Later, I wake up screaming, "help, help, help." Dave wakes me up at the same time I wake myself up. I dreamed the bottoms of my daughter's and my feet were impaled with many needles of fine crystal glass. Please don't let the dream ensue when I close my eyes.
Before five a.m. I check my phone to see who won. I nudge Dave, "Your guy won." He says, "I know." He has been checking his phone all night. I am resigned. I feel nothing. I get up and let the dogs out, put some coffee on and start the fire. There are states not yet called. We are one of them. We don't matter, because it is over. The country has raised a middle finger to the status quo.
I am struck by how the morning show hosts are able to deliver the news without betraying any personal feelings. I am rarely at a loss, don't know how I feel. Life will go on. I will pop more popcorn. Meanwhile, Facebook is not funny today. There are vitriolic rants, stunned disbelief, hate, and fear. I can't absorb it all. I have friends on both sides of The Wall. I try to look for the positives.
I think Obama Care is a failure. For me, this is the fault of the senate and legislature. They created a monster with their ugly little personal interests, pushing and shoving until the original intent became an unholy stepchild, Dave and I wanted everyone to have affordable health care. For many people, it is not affordable. In theory, it was a good idea.
When Jesse Ventura became the governor of Minnesota, I was optimistic. He was pretty brash and rough around the edges, but I thought he had potential. Hopefully, he would be open-minded, willing to become enlightened in the face of facts and figures. I was wrong. I am not holding my breath on The Donald being any different. Global warming is just the tip of the iceberg. I am thinking now the same thing I thought then, how much damage can he do in four years.
Showing posts with label Dream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dream. Show all posts
Friday, November 11, 2016
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Dream Sequence Outing of Last Night.
Gramma,
My dreams are epic--vivid, detailed, and complex.
Last night there was a gargantuan black horse with this asshole male rider. I wanted to take the horse for a spin, but the asshole said only he could control the dark horse. So I asked if I could ride along to some really cool countryside. He said yes, he would take me later. Then he picks up two of his teen daughters and takes them for an all day ride. He doesn't get around to taking me for a ride and I am put out by this. There is an average, tame brown horse that I could ride. It had been in view when I was looking at the big black guy. I thought maybe I could take it, but we wouldn't go anywhere cool, or very far, or very fast.
While I was waiting for the horse dick to come back, I was again, as in other dreams past, in a too small duplex with my birth family, none of whom I like or want to be with. I was fighting for space to call my own/bedroom. One room had a toilet in it that would overflow when flushed. There was also a washer and dryer in that space. A door to the outside did not have a sturdy lock on it and nobody liked having that room because, God forbid, someone had stolen potato chips, (I do not like chips), and old shoes from the closet. The other rooms available had problems, two of them with non-functioning toilets. I often have dreams with nasty toilets that leak, overflow, are full, and don't work. I need one that works, and none of them do.
Meanwhile, I am on a trip in an interesting foreign country, (which is often a dream theme). The horse and man are there too, but not visible. While I wait for his sorry as to show up, I am making plans to showcase my sister/ friend/daughter-in-law's baby with a party. I have the baby dressed up like a cupcake confection, all ruffled and yummy. One minute she is a newborn, the next she is sitting up. Against the wishes of the baby "owner," I have been sneaking rice baby cereal in her bottle. I try to hide the evidence of this. She is too young yet and having a hard time swallowing it.
A white male with no personality and no friends shows up early for the party. I wholeheartedly welcome him before realizing's he is not the friend/person I thought he was. He tries to get me to commit to coming to a party at his remote mansion on a beach. He wants me to bring all my friends/family/people. I tell him okay, but am really not planning to show up or put my friends through this. The ocean there is cold, the sky will be overcast, and there is something unsavory about it.
I am also hanging out with nuns in this foreign country. We are having a good time, pillaging the massive library for our own use, and talking about life's mysteries. (I often hang out with nuns in my dreams.) There is this mega church under construction in this old country, (pre-indoor plumbing.) The church is amazing, with unique artistic use of large stone blocks. It will never fall down, but it is only about a third of the way finished. The foundation is sturdy, the bones are all there, and one lone guy is working on some small aspect with a trowel. He is high off the ground and smiling.
I want this church to be finished, but there are bad people from a negative political faction that want to halt the progress permanently. They show up on horses. I argue with them until they agree that if the locals can raise the money, it can go forward. They think this is not possible. Along with other people on this trip, we are being detained and fleeced for various infractions. I have taken library materials, two children's books I want to share back home because of the "moral of the story" potential. I write a $150.00 check to then nuns for the church before heading to the airport, (which is incongruous with the era). This is a lot of money for the time. I am not at all wealthy, but am willing to sacrifice for this cause.
I regret not having time to say goodbyes and am afraid I will miss my flight. There are a significant number of people who are also worried they will not get to the plane on time. We are in a very long line, not unlike today's TSA check points. The jerk on the horse did not show up to take me on the fun ride to see a piece of countryside I heard was worth the trip. At this point, it's okay because I am pissed and planned to tell him off for being such an arrogant piece of shit.
End of story.
Anybody want to venture an interpretation. I was raised Catholic. As an adult, I have had good relationships with nuns in a variety of situations. I am sick of dysfunctional toilet dreams. I am sick of this small duplex setting.
My dreams are epic--vivid, detailed, and complex.
Last night there was a gargantuan black horse with this asshole male rider. I wanted to take the horse for a spin, but the asshole said only he could control the dark horse. So I asked if I could ride along to some really cool countryside. He said yes, he would take me later. Then he picks up two of his teen daughters and takes them for an all day ride. He doesn't get around to taking me for a ride and I am put out by this. There is an average, tame brown horse that I could ride. It had been in view when I was looking at the big black guy. I thought maybe I could take it, but we wouldn't go anywhere cool, or very far, or very fast.
While I was waiting for the horse dick to come back, I was again, as in other dreams past, in a too small duplex with my birth family, none of whom I like or want to be with. I was fighting for space to call my own/bedroom. One room had a toilet in it that would overflow when flushed. There was also a washer and dryer in that space. A door to the outside did not have a sturdy lock on it and nobody liked having that room because, God forbid, someone had stolen potato chips, (I do not like chips), and old shoes from the closet. The other rooms available had problems, two of them with non-functioning toilets. I often have dreams with nasty toilets that leak, overflow, are full, and don't work. I need one that works, and none of them do.
Meanwhile, I am on a trip in an interesting foreign country, (which is often a dream theme). The horse and man are there too, but not visible. While I wait for his sorry as to show up, I am making plans to showcase my sister/ friend/daughter-in-law's baby with a party. I have the baby dressed up like a cupcake confection, all ruffled and yummy. One minute she is a newborn, the next she is sitting up. Against the wishes of the baby "owner," I have been sneaking rice baby cereal in her bottle. I try to hide the evidence of this. She is too young yet and having a hard time swallowing it.
A white male with no personality and no friends shows up early for the party. I wholeheartedly welcome him before realizing's he is not the friend/person I thought he was. He tries to get me to commit to coming to a party at his remote mansion on a beach. He wants me to bring all my friends/family/people. I tell him okay, but am really not planning to show up or put my friends through this. The ocean there is cold, the sky will be overcast, and there is something unsavory about it.
I am also hanging out with nuns in this foreign country. We are having a good time, pillaging the massive library for our own use, and talking about life's mysteries. (I often hang out with nuns in my dreams.) There is this mega church under construction in this old country, (pre-indoor plumbing.) The church is amazing, with unique artistic use of large stone blocks. It will never fall down, but it is only about a third of the way finished. The foundation is sturdy, the bones are all there, and one lone guy is working on some small aspect with a trowel. He is high off the ground and smiling.
I want this church to be finished, but there are bad people from a negative political faction that want to halt the progress permanently. They show up on horses. I argue with them until they agree that if the locals can raise the money, it can go forward. They think this is not possible. Along with other people on this trip, we are being detained and fleeced for various infractions. I have taken library materials, two children's books I want to share back home because of the "moral of the story" potential. I write a $150.00 check to then nuns for the church before heading to the airport, (which is incongruous with the era). This is a lot of money for the time. I am not at all wealthy, but am willing to sacrifice for this cause.
I regret not having time to say goodbyes and am afraid I will miss my flight. There are a significant number of people who are also worried they will not get to the plane on time. We are in a very long line, not unlike today's TSA check points. The jerk on the horse did not show up to take me on the fun ride to see a piece of countryside I heard was worth the trip. At this point, it's okay because I am pissed and planned to tell him off for being such an arrogant piece of shit.
End of story.
Anybody want to venture an interpretation. I was raised Catholic. As an adult, I have had good relationships with nuns in a variety of situations. I am sick of dysfunctional toilet dreams. I am sick of this small duplex setting.
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