Getting Religion

Gramma,

Dave went on a motorcycle fundraiser today.  I went to my grandson's baseball game instead.  I drove an hour to get there.  It was about as interesting as watching paint dry, but I enthusiastically stuck it out.  Until today, they were undefeated.  They lost by one point, but can still take the trophy if they win tomorrow.  Then football season starts.  When I was a kid, nobody ever came to my stuff, so  I always show up at events I am invited to. 

Except this one time.  Joan, our mother, paid little or no attention to what we did when she was sleeping, as long as we made no noise.  She worked nights.  Once a week, a bus came around the neighborhood picking kids up for an evening of cookies and Kool-Aid.  Religion was involved.  We learned Bible stories, memorized verses, commandments, and books of the Bible. 

At the end of summer, there was a children's program.  We begged Joan to come to this.  She showed up with her bright red lipstick and pointy crimson fingernails, full makeup and perfectly done up bottle-red hair.  We were raised Catholic.  I do not know what fundamentalist church group we had been attending.  Joan was mortified.  We had not noticed that the teachers never wore makeup.  Smiling proudly, we each recited our memorized material.  I had learned,  The Lord is my shepherd....  Joan forbid us to get on the bus again. 

Later, I connected with the Lutherans.  Some of my friends invited me to their weekly fellowship night.  Then I was invited to their summer camp on Bay Lake.  I couldn't believe I was allowed to go.  It was a week of bliss, no yelling from Joan, no constant tension, no fear of doing something wrong.  Away from the chain smoking, I could breathe better.  I cried when I had to go home. 

I did not enjoy Catholic Catechism classes.  They were boring and the nuns were mean.  Joan never helped with the lessons.  They were confusing and I often didn't understand what I was supposed to do.  The nuns made some of the kids stand at the blackboard with their noses in a chalk circle for the entire hour when their work wasn't right.  But, as long as I attended the classes, I was allowed to participate in Lutheran events with my friends.  Hayrides, volleyball,  co-ed summer camp.  One year, I even got to be a counselor to the younger kids.  It was a small place of joy in an unhappy childhood.