Thursday, July 21, 2016

Long Lost Nieces

Gramma, 

My long lost nieces came for a visit.  They are in college now.  Being low income, with excellent grades, they qualify for full scholarships.  Their gas guzzling, rust bucket has no AC.  The drive was almost an hour in triple digit heat.  Their mother is a hateful, mean-spirited person who hides behind her religion.  I don't feel special though, as she is also like that to my brother.  In public, such as at my dad's funeral, she pretends there is nothing amiss. 

Before their mother cut off my contact with them, I always brought bags of clothing and fun food, bread and donuts.  They would come running to the car, excited to see what I had for them.  They were pre-teen.  There would be a fashion show with the new clothes.  "What would we do without you," they said.  They bragged about me to their school friends, who wished they had a fun aunt too. 

One day, I showed up with presents for the girls.  I was not invited inside.  The parents stood outside, blocking the door.  So, I left the gifts with the girls.  My step-mother tried to find out why I was no longer welcome.  My adopted sister told her to leave it alone.  At the time, she was not speaking to my brother.  She had many grievances against him.  A lot of it seemed like sibling rivalry and jealousy.  I did not grow up with these people.  There was the expectation that I should not have anything to do with my brother. 

At my father's funeral, she was friendly to both of us, so I thought she was no longer interested in being estranged.  I was wrong.  Over the years, I sent my nieces money for birthdays and holidays.  Sometimes, I would get a letter back.  My step-mother kept me apprised of their activities.
Then, they found me on Facebook.  I was surprised their mother allowed this contact.  Ditto, them showing up in the flesh.  "Mom says hello," they said.  I did not respond to that. 

I declined the invitation to a graduation party.  It would have been awkward.  I prefer to go where my presence is celebrated, not tolerated.   I don't like that game where you pretend everything is fine. 

We had an awesome four hour visit.  There was home made hummingbird cake and artichoke pizza.  I sent them off with gas money.  They promised to come again soon, but I know they are busy with work and school.  Their vehicle is untrustworthy.  I wish I could give them more than moral support. They said they did not know how poor they were until they got to college.  Only recently were doors installed in their bedrooms.  There are no doorknobs.  Education is their way out. 






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