Bi-polar Shit Show

Gramma, 

I was happy to be home, to my sanctuary. The lawn needed baling.  It had been two weeks.   I had more shit shows waiting.  My eldest son's bi-polar med cocktail had been changed.  His insurance would no longer cover the real medication, for which he was on a five dollar co-pay plan through the makers of Abilify.  For several hundred dollars more, he could have the generic.  It wasn't an option.  So his therapist gave him something else that he could get free samples of.  I could tell the meds weren't working.  His therapist said to give it a few weeks. 

He started out feeling less than.  Then he became easily agitated and annoyed.  I could see this from his Facebook posts, where he has always shared way too much.  He has no filter and no concept of discretion or appropriation of information.  I got reports from people saying he had turned into a raving asshole.  He criticized his best friend for his lack of nice things.  He bought himself a $22,000 truck that he didn't need with money he didn't have.  This is classic bi-polar behavior. 

He and his girlfriend came over in the new truck.  He was paranoid that everybody was talking about him and his truck, questioning whether or not he could afford it on twenty hours a week at the YMCA and his disability check.  He loudly, in caps, ranted on Facebook about how it was nobody's business, that he always paid his bills, which I knew not to be true.  When he walked to his truck, I asked girlfriend how long he had been this way.  "About a month.  I can hardly stand it."  I carefully asked him why he bought a new truck. 

He ranted about the thousands of dollars in repairs he had made on the truck he had traded in.  He got $2000.00 for it on trade.  I shook my head.  He has always been instant gratification impulsive with his spending.  Girlfriend let me know that during visitation, he had been making his nine-year-old son cry until he asked to go home.  I notified my ex-daughter-in-law.  The rantings became manifesto's.  He alienated friends and family, burning bridges and sinking boats. 

My own misguided post on Facebook drew a lot of interesting feedback.  Basically, I said I was fed up with  people who pretend their families are perfect, posing their lovely pictures and words, while behind the scenes they were mean to each other and hid ugly truths.  I ended by saying that this façade made other people feel bad about themselves.  My rant had been precipitated by some personal business with family.  The real people gave positive feedback, while the guilty objected.  The controversy I had stirred up made me smile and have another beer. 

My bi-polar son called in a rage, saying his girlfriend was uncontrollably crying because I had made her family sound so pathetic.  That was not my intent.  He insulted me every which way to Sunday.  I could not get a word of defense in edgewise.  I was just like my evil mother.  He called me Joan and Mommy Dearest.  He said they would never speak to me again.  I took the post down.  I had made my point with the right people. 

His girlfriend decided to take a bunch of pills, which she did frequently when frustrated.  It was her second trip to the hospital in a month.  She was not taking her bi-polar meds or going to mandated therapy sessions.  Neither was my son.  And it only got worse with the confrontational tirades. 

I was still reeling from Denver and decided not to engage with him.  It would be pointless.  In his mania, he was unreachable. 

To be continued....