Bad Gramma,
I thought the last day of the month was yesterday. It's today. The rent is due the last day of the month, not the first. I called the renter and left a message that the rent was due. He is in the apartment, but not answering the door and the blinds are drawn. I send him a text to leave the rent in his entryway or on the counter in my house. No response. I have knocked three different times today. He's only been here a month. I take a sleeping pill with my other meds so I'm not obsessing about this all night.
In the morning I call and he hangs up on me three times. I text him that the rent is now past due and when is he going to pay it. He says, maybe next week. I ask him how soon he can get his stuff out of the apartment. Storage units are readily available. He says he is not moving. I say, you violated the rental agreement with the late rent. Put your stuff in a storage unit and couch surf. He says, no. I say I will start the eviction process. He says, let me know when the court date is.
I am online all morning trying to figure out how to proceed. I call help numbers. There are forms and forms and tenant rights that make it sound like he can live here forever. He can bring the late rent to court and then continue to live here and do it again the next month. Dave tries to call him and he doesn't answer. Dave texts him and says, answer your phone. The guy responds, who is this? I call my brother, who also has rental property.
We agree that renters are mostly assholes. He has done some pretty crazy shit to his bad renters. He says we will load up this guys shit and take it to his work place and drop it off. Or, we will leave it outside the gates and change the code and the locks on the rental unit. None of his suggestions are legal and I don't want to be in court. He says to call him back in a few hours and he will have a plan.
I search online for the renter's wife. I come up with a name and the name of the last realty company she worked for. I call and she is no longer there. I call my friend in real estate and ask her if she can help. She gets me this woman's phone number. I call and tell her what a douche her ex has been. I ask if he is at all violent. She says none of this sounds like her husband. She will call him and find out what's going on.
The renter calls me back and asks what's going on? He has received none of my calls or texts. He tells me today is the last day of the month and he was planning to pay me cash again at the end of the day. He is all concerned and apologetic. He wants to know what number I have been calling. It is not his number. I apologize profusely. He is relieved that there is not a problem. He thinks he shorted me $50.00 last month, so he will add it this month.
He asks if my friend is still moving in when the lease is up. No, I have told her she is too picky and it would ruin our friendship. I tell him the rent will be $50.00 more and to let me know if he is interested. I text his wife and thank her for helping me out. She says anytime. I am glad I didn't tell her about all the women he has over, which wouldn't be true, but I would go out of my way to make his life difficult. I am relieved, but my stomach is still in knots and I feel sick.
I was worried about my dogs, that they would be used for retaliation. I had a renter who took my cat for a ride. I found out what a miserable life Frank had suffered as a result. I was afraid my dogs would be poisoned, run over by this guy going too fast in the driveway, or let out of the gates and get hit by a car. They could be dropped off somewhere and I would never see them again or they would die a cruel death. I hate the idea of supervised outside time and keeping them inside if I am gone all day. They love being outside as much as I do. My dogs are my Xanax. My dogs are my people.
Showing posts with label Renter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Renter. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Windows 10 Went Rogue on Me
Gramma,
Windows 10 went rogue on me yesterday, installing itself on my computer without permission. So now I can't find an effing thing and will have to get the computer repair people to find my shit. This is why I haven't written on my blog. I don't like games, especially those that don't come with the rules.
Last night girlfriend stopped over for drinks. Neither of us felt well this morning. She didn't make it to work, again, because of her blood sugar levels crashing. I had to get it off my plate that I wouldn't be renting to her and why. She's too picky. The washer and dryer are old and mismatched. She wants all kinds of things changed. There will be no dog door installed.
She argued and I stood my ground. I said it would ruin our friendship. She nit picked at the weeds in the flower bed in front of the rental. A crew of Mexicans couldn't keep up with my yard. She will be finding a place of her own soon enough and I will have to find another decent renter. New rule here, no friends or family or those related to friends and family.
I like the invisible guy that lives there now. He said he didn't care if I repainted over the odd colors the last renter left behind. I'm sure he is not concerned that I have not yet weed whacked his yard. He comes and goes in the dark. Weeds are not a priority. There's no drama. Hopefully, he will pay the rent on time and I can tell him he can stay.
Windows 10 went rogue on me yesterday, installing itself on my computer without permission. So now I can't find an effing thing and will have to get the computer repair people to find my shit. This is why I haven't written on my blog. I don't like games, especially those that don't come with the rules.
Last night girlfriend stopped over for drinks. Neither of us felt well this morning. She didn't make it to work, again, because of her blood sugar levels crashing. I had to get it off my plate that I wouldn't be renting to her and why. She's too picky. The washer and dryer are old and mismatched. She wants all kinds of things changed. There will be no dog door installed.
She argued and I stood my ground. I said it would ruin our friendship. She nit picked at the weeds in the flower bed in front of the rental. A crew of Mexicans couldn't keep up with my yard. She will be finding a place of her own soon enough and I will have to find another decent renter. New rule here, no friends or family or those related to friends and family.
I like the invisible guy that lives there now. He said he didn't care if I repainted over the odd colors the last renter left behind. I'm sure he is not concerned that I have not yet weed whacked his yard. He comes and goes in the dark. Weeds are not a priority. There's no drama. Hopefully, he will pay the rent on time and I can tell him he can stay.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Hooker Pay on Hot Bench
Bad Gramma,
Spent the afternoon in small claims court. Dave and I took advantage of the mediation option, which of course went nowhere, but Dave got to rant. I asked Jody why she couldn't have taken the Hot Bench offer. She said she just doesn't have time for that. I say, you work four days a week, two of which are on the weekend and you couldn't fit this into your busy schedule. She lives with her mother now and has no other obligations. She could have made hooker pay on Hot Bench.
In court, Jody insisted that the screens and window cranks were missing when she moved in. In her mind, I helped her remove the doors and blinds. According to her, the place was a dump until she made many improvements. The "improvements" were not relevant to the damages.
She blamed my puppy for knocking over a burning candle and ruining the carpet. She makes up these kinds of stories all the time. I submitted pictures of damage and documentation to support my claim. I stated that most of what Jody said was fabricated. But, the lies sounded plausible.
We were the last case of the day. The Judge told one of the people in court that this wasn't court tv, so quit acting like it was. On the way home, Dave and I debated how the other rulings would go down. We didn't always agree. Now, we wait for a ruling to come in the mail.
Collection of the debt will be another pain in my ass. Usually, renters like to file bankruptcy, or think they can get by with not paying a judgement. I will have to figure out the process for garnishing wages. Now, I am hooked on watching the stupidity showcased on Hot Bench.
Spent the afternoon in small claims court. Dave and I took advantage of the mediation option, which of course went nowhere, but Dave got to rant. I asked Jody why she couldn't have taken the Hot Bench offer. She said she just doesn't have time for that. I say, you work four days a week, two of which are on the weekend and you couldn't fit this into your busy schedule. She lives with her mother now and has no other obligations. She could have made hooker pay on Hot Bench.
In court, Jody insisted that the screens and window cranks were missing when she moved in. In her mind, I helped her remove the doors and blinds. According to her, the place was a dump until she made many improvements. The "improvements" were not relevant to the damages.
She blamed my puppy for knocking over a burning candle and ruining the carpet. She makes up these kinds of stories all the time. I submitted pictures of damage and documentation to support my claim. I stated that most of what Jody said was fabricated. But, the lies sounded plausible.
We were the last case of the day. The Judge told one of the people in court that this wasn't court tv, so quit acting like it was. On the way home, Dave and I debated how the other rulings would go down. We didn't always agree. Now, we wait for a ruling to come in the mail.
Collection of the debt will be another pain in my ass. Usually, renters like to file bankruptcy, or think they can get by with not paying a judgement. I will have to figure out the process for garnishing wages. Now, I am hooked on watching the stupidity showcased on Hot Bench.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Be Very Very Afraid
Gramma
The new renter is already displaying his weirdness. I have never rented to a guy before. Larry and his wife are not getting along is how he put it. Over twenty-five years, I have rented to three couples. The rest have been victims of domestic violence or divorce.
The guest house is a maze of exercise equipment. There are lots of windows. The views are awesome here, woods, pond, a treehouse, a playhouse and a gypsy wagon for kids to play in. There are no neighbors in sight and the property is fenced and gated. You need a code to get into my sanctuary, but Larry has all the blinds drawn. What is he afraid of.
Larry has a seven-year-old. His wife won't let him visit my wonderland because she doesn't want him to know they are getting a divorce. Dad works road construction and the story is that he will be staying down in the cities for the summer. Yeah right. I have a couple of seven-year-olds. They are not that stupid.
There is the creepy aspect here. It is Halloween all year round. Some of the grandkids do not like my toilet collection of many colors with the skeletons sitting on them. They look like they are laughing and having a good time drinking beer and talking on the phone.. Some have skeleton dogs on a leash.
Then there is the coffin I found for free on Craig's List. I will be planting a daisies around it. The fancy innards are purple satin and lace. The guy had a ton of them. I also took a topless one for an animal water tank. It has molded horses on the sides. Last winter girlfriend and I went on a road trip to pick them up. I expected to be pulled over, but that didn't stop us from smoking weed and laughing our asses off all the way there and back. I think I will put my silver skeleton in it.
My favorite installation is the three large rubber balls made into bloodshot eyes mounted on old fake trees. They are Papa, Momma, and Baby Cyclops. I used Great Stuff foam painted fluorescent green to hold them in place. I am working on a bigger than life mosaic sculpture of the Wizard of Oz witch and a flying monkey. Right now the monkey is holding a super-sized empty bottle of vodka.
A giant gargoyle on top of the tower oversees my utopia. It took about a case of beer for me to haul it over the 12/12 pitch roof and bolt it in. So, maybe in light of all this, the renter is not the weird one, or he is afraid of something. Screaming peacocks? Braying donkeys? A llama looking in the bedroom window? Be afraid, very, very afraid.
The new renter is already displaying his weirdness. I have never rented to a guy before. Larry and his wife are not getting along is how he put it. Over twenty-five years, I have rented to three couples. The rest have been victims of domestic violence or divorce.
The guest house is a maze of exercise equipment. There are lots of windows. The views are awesome here, woods, pond, a treehouse, a playhouse and a gypsy wagon for kids to play in. There are no neighbors in sight and the property is fenced and gated. You need a code to get into my sanctuary, but Larry has all the blinds drawn. What is he afraid of.
Larry has a seven-year-old. His wife won't let him visit my wonderland because she doesn't want him to know they are getting a divorce. Dad works road construction and the story is that he will be staying down in the cities for the summer. Yeah right. I have a couple of seven-year-olds. They are not that stupid.
There is the creepy aspect here. It is Halloween all year round. Some of the grandkids do not like my toilet collection of many colors with the skeletons sitting on them. They look like they are laughing and having a good time drinking beer and talking on the phone.. Some have skeleton dogs on a leash.
Then there is the coffin I found for free on Craig's List. I will be planting a daisies around it. The fancy innards are purple satin and lace. The guy had a ton of them. I also took a topless one for an animal water tank. It has molded horses on the sides. Last winter girlfriend and I went on a road trip to pick them up. I expected to be pulled over, but that didn't stop us from smoking weed and laughing our asses off all the way there and back. I think I will put my silver skeleton in it.
My favorite installation is the three large rubber balls made into bloodshot eyes mounted on old fake trees. They are Papa, Momma, and Baby Cyclops. I used Great Stuff foam painted fluorescent green to hold them in place. I am working on a bigger than life mosaic sculpture of the Wizard of Oz witch and a flying monkey. Right now the monkey is holding a super-sized empty bottle of vodka.
A giant gargoyle on top of the tower oversees my utopia. It took about a case of beer for me to haul it over the 12/12 pitch roof and bolt it in. So, maybe in light of all this, the renter is not the weird one, or he is afraid of something. Screaming peacocks? Braying donkeys? A llama looking in the bedroom window? Be afraid, very, very afraid.
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