The new renter is already displaying his weirdness. I have never rented to a guy before. Larry and his wife are not getting along is how he put it. Over twenty-five years, I have rented to three couples. The rest have been victims of domestic violence or divorce.
The guest house is a maze of exercise equipment. There are lots of windows. The views are awesome here, woods, pond, a treehouse, a playhouse and a gypsy wagon for kids to play in. There are no neighbors in sight and the property is fenced and gated. You need a code to get into my sanctuary, but Larry has all the blinds drawn. What is he afraid of.
Larry has a seven-year-old. His wife won't let him visit my wonderland because she doesn't want him to know they are getting a divorce. Dad works road construction and the story is that he will be staying down in the cities for the summer. Yeah right. I have a couple of seven-year-olds. They are not that stupid.
There is the creepy aspect here. It is Halloween all year round. Some of the grandkids do not like my toilet collection of many colors with the skeletons sitting on them. They look like they are laughing and having a good time drinking beer and talking on the phone.. Some have skeleton dogs on a leash.
Then there is the coffin I found for free on Craig's List. I will be planting a daisies around it. The fancy innards are purple satin and lace. The guy had a ton of them. I also took a topless one for an animal water tank. It has molded horses on the sides. Last winter girlfriend and I went on a road trip to pick them up. I expected to be pulled over, but that didn't stop us from smoking weed and laughing our asses off all the way there and back. I think I will put my silver skeleton in it.
My favorite installation is the three large rubber balls made into bloodshot eyes mounted on old fake trees. They are Papa, Momma, and Baby Cyclops. I used Great Stuff foam painted fluorescent green to hold them in place. I am working on a bigger than life mosaic sculpture of the Wizard of Oz witch and a flying monkey. Right now the monkey is holding a super-sized empty bottle of vodka.
A giant gargoyle on top of the tower oversees my utopia. It took about a case of beer for me to haul it over the 12/12 pitch roof and bolt it in. So, maybe in light of all this, the renter is not the weird one, or he is afraid of something. Screaming peacocks? Braying donkeys? A llama looking in the bedroom window? Be afraid, very, very afraid.
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