The Nut Hut

Bad Gramma,

My son's girlfriend is in the nut hut.  (And, yes, I can use the term nut hut through appropriation from my personal experience there, and having family who also have been guests in the funhouse.)  She and my son are both bi-polar.  She decided not to take her meds.  This is not uncommon to this segment of society.  They think they are doing fine, so they don't need medication. 

Girlfriend will be in the nut hut awhile.  She had a "nervous breakdown" at work.  My son lives on disability, supplemented by his job as a custodian at the YMCA.  He tried taking computer classes with the idea of getting a decent paying full time job.  It was too stressful for him.  At least he tried. 

When you are bi-polar, keeping things on an even keel is as important as taking your meds.  So the current situation is causing duress.  My son does not know how he will be able to pay the extra $500.00 in rent that girlfriend won't be able to contribute.  Or pay for her food and other necessities.  He is overwhelmed.  Girlfriend's adult daughter is also living with them, and not paying her share. 

Girlfriend has worked a rash of jobs.  She doesn't seem to be able to keep one for very long.  There is always some obstacle that can't be overcome.  She bought a second-hand car using one of those scam places that gives payday loans.  Yay.  She will not be able to make the payments, and her bad decision will be repossessed.  Bad financial choices are common to bi-polar people.  My son is not good with money either. 

I advised my son to make a list of things that need to change in this relationship.  Then make a list of the positive things and the negative things.  What can you not tolerate?  This will make a clearer path to what needs to happen.  His impulse is to call it a day with her, but they are good for each other.  The dating scene for my forty-something son has been grim.  I'm not sure trading for someone else is the answer.    

I suggest that girlfriend move back in with her evil parents until she can get her shit in a pile.  But, they already have a full house of nieces and nephews.  I have to wonder what kind of money this is bringing in for them.  They are users and abusers to their own children, which likely contributed to the onset of her mental illness.  The streets are full of homeless people who didn't take their meds.