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Gramma 

I answered a rash of questions from by Dr. Jess.   "Yes, I have been to the ER for faux heart attacks."  My symptoms generally manifested after doing some particularly heavy activity, such as pulling a camper trailer uphill by myself or rearranging railroad ties by hand.  My pulled muscle pain mimicked heart attack symptoms.  Now I needed to get a pre-op that included an EKG.  This could stall out the whole process. I was panicky that I would not get to check "face-lift" off my bucket list. 

I had been planning this event for years and in earnest for several months.  I did not realize how far out these things are scheduled.  I needed this surgery to be healed before motorcycle season began and it wasn't looking good.  During the recovery I would be unable to move my neck back and forth without using my entire upper body to turn in a robotic motion.  I could not drive with this loss of visual acuity.  Housework would be suspended for at least two weeks.  Lounging is not something I do well.  But, there would be pain meds to create the necessary condition of not giving a shit.  And, there was always pot.    

A chance cancellation allowed me the desired time frame for healing.  I would only miss the Defrost Your Nutz Run in early April.  It was usually cold and rainy, or snowy, or icy.  There would still be road salt and grime.  My bike is nice.  I do not want this slop on it anyways. 

A friend planned to drive me to the surgery center at five in the morning.  The problem with this was that I would have to leave before my love left for work.  He would therefore know something was up.  I could tell him I was taking girlfriend for a procedure.  She always has something going on with her health.  She urged me to just tell him the truth.  Dr. Jess also strongly suggested I tell him, as the surgery would be five hours long and things can happen. 

A few weeks prior, I told Dave that he needed to take off work the day after surgery because there was going to be a surprise.  As girlfriend had to work, I needed him to drive me to the post-op the following morning.  Dave doesn't like surprises.  He badgered girlfriend relentlessly while I was on vacation.  She is having an extended stay with us, as her husband is a fucking cock-sucking bastard dick-faced prick.