Divorce Continued...

Bad Gramma

I am coaching girlfriend in the fine art of divorce.  She has been divorced twice already, but never with any assets.  I have been divorced once and ended up in prison because he needed killing.  But that's a story for another day. 

Scott's all smug and happy because his attorney told him that he could get a good chunk of change in spousal maintenance.  She makes six figures while he sits home on his sorry ass drinking in front of the blaring tv.  He is on disability for a back injury at work.  He has refused to return to a good paying job where his limitations will be accommodated.  He has offered girlfriend a deal.  If she walks away from everything, he will not ask for spousal maintenance. 

Either way, there is no way he can afford to stay there, especially with the adjoining acreage.  He doesn't know it yet, but the "family land" has both their names on it.  I estimate the value to be around $100,000.  It is wooded and overlooks the river, perfect for housing lots.  Scott isn't going to know what hit him until the for sale sign is up.

With only an eighth grade education, he is not too bright.  In the past he has always gotten his way, but that is about to change.  He should have taken the offer she made for $125,000.  When it's over, he will have to go live with mommy in the little house he grew up in.  Mommy is not well in the body or the head.  The house is stuck in the sixties.  There will be no space for all his toys.  I'll drink to that. 

Jo hasn't worked a full week in six months.  I can't believe she hasn't been fired.  She is off to the doctor for one thing and another all the time.  She had her pancreas and some other stuff removed a few years back and the resulting chronic problems have worsened.  Sometimes she has to leave work because she has "greased" herself as she calls it.  Off to the store to buy new underwear and pants on work time. 

Girlfriend also needs knee surgery again.  It's a good thing she can work from home when she is short on hours.  Her pancreas doctor has advised her to file for Social Security Disability.  Her attorney says this will put an end to his "Child Support" claim.  Also, there is a subpoena for all Scott's work records, which will reveal that he has the option to go back to work.

Scott has filled out the assets request with four items:  his Harley, his big red truck, his Spyder, and his new red Mustang convertible.  It cost $47,000 three months ago.  He has listed it as worth $17,000.  He cashed in more of his 401K, which he does frequently, to soothe his need for instant gratification.  This toy was a gift to himself for staying sober one month. 

He forgot to claim the two tractors and a myriad of other expensive items.  He is so busted. 
While he was away on a motorcycle ride, girlfriend took lots of pictures of unclaimed things,  but couldn't get into the garage or shed. 

When she asked me to go with her to pick up some gardening equipment and plants from her yard, I did not want to go.  I am afraid Scott will kill us both when he is in pissed off mode.  She asked him for the keys to the garage and shed so she could look for a missing fountain pump.  He gave them to her.  So she took lots of pictures of hidden assets. 

She brought the keys back to the house.  Scott started in about the attorney expenses.  "You are just wasting money by asking for mediation."  It is required by law, but again, he is stupid.  "I will get you an offer next week and that should take care of it."  I don't think so.  Can't wait to hear it.  Then he says, "I'm here and your not." 

She says, "For how long?" smiles and turns to leave.  She has poked the bear. 

"Remember what happened last time?" he yells after her.

I am standing outside as things escalate.  I am pulling my phone out of my pocket when she comes out.  The "last time" he has referred to is when he poured gasoline on her and the kitchen floor, then threatened to throw a match.  She has decided we will not be going back again.