Girlfriend's Divorce

Bad Gramma

My girlfriend's long time marriage is dissolving.  The end began at Thanksgiving when she came to stay with us, again.  For Christmas she drove home a few states away.  Scott followed her in his big red truck, begging forgiveness and promising to sign a notarized  agreement on how the divorce division will go down if he fails to keep his end of the bargain.  Conditions are that he will quit drinking, quit controlling the money that mostly she earns, quit with the verbal assaults and let her pound nails in the walls to hang art. 

She went back home, but didn't take all the things we had spirited out of her house and brought here while Scott was either at a meeting or a doctor appointment.  She had an informant that let her know when it was safe,   She would leave work early and we would rush over and fill the cars with clothes, jewelry, bottles of wine and anything else that he wouldn't miss.  It was gratifying work. 

Girlfriend had gone to pick up some things while he was home and to discuss the divorce agreement where she asked for a mere $125,000 pittance to go away.  He has reneged and says if she walks away from everything, he will not ask for spousal maintenance.  She was there too long for my liking and not answering her phone, so I did what any good friend would do.  I called the cops. 

Several squads showed up with guns drawn.  I had told them that Scott is likely drinking, has lots of guns and that he has on occasion threatened to lock her in a closet and not let her have her insulin.  He thinks this is the same thing as denying him his alcohol, because he is dependent on it.  He is very charming to the police and claims there is no problem as he falls down the steps to the front door.  He spills his drink and laughs.  Jo comes home to us where she is safe.  We have iron gates and you need a code to get in.  Also, Dave is big, has lots of guns, and doesn't like Scott. 

We like when Jo stays with us because she is an awesome cook and I suck at it.  I make spaghetti, stew, homemade soup, or meat.  My meals are one dish, not three, no bread, rarely a salad.  I put a plate of meat and a yam in front of Dave and call it dinner.  I am good at fudge, bread and lasagna.  My stove gets so little use that I have to dust it off every week.  Dave cooks once a week, which means he brings home two pizzas--pickle bacon cheeseburger for me and anchovy of garbage for him.  Our favorite part of all the times Jo has stayed with us is when Dave went to work and bragged to Scott about the fantastic dinner she made us the night before. 



I am coaching girlfriend in the fine art of divorce. 

Scott's all smug and happy because his attorney told him that he could get a good chunk of change in spousal maintenance.  She makes six figures while he sits home on his sorry ass and drinks in front of the tv.  He is on disability for a back injury.  He has refused to go back to a good paying job where his limitations will be accommodated.  He has offered girlfriend a deal.  If she walks away from everything, he will not ask for spousal maintenance. 

There is no way he can afford to stay there either way, especially with the adjoining acreage.  He doesn't know it yet, but the "Family" land has both their names on it.  I estimate the value at around $100,000.  It is wooded and overlooks the river, perfect for housing lots. 

He doesn't know what is really happening.  Jo has not worked a full week in six months.  I can't believe they haven't fired her.  She is off to the doctor for one thing and another all the time.  Her diabetes is worse.  She had her pancreas and some other stuff removed a few years back and the chronic symptoms have worsened.  Sometimes she has to leave work because she has "greased" herself as she calls it.  Off to the store to buy new underwear and pants on work time. 

Girlfriend also needs knee surgery.  It's a good thing she can work from home when she is short on hours.  Her doctor has advised her to file for Social Security Disability.  Her attorney says this will put and end to his "Child Support" claim. 

Scott has filled out the assets request with four items:  His Harley, the big red truck, his Spyder,  and a new red Mustang.  The convertible is new.  It cost $47,000 out the door.  He cashed in more of his retirement, which he does frequently to soothe his need for instant gratification.  This toy was a gift to himself for staying sober for a month.  He has claimed the value at $17,000.  He forgot the two tractors and a myriad of other expensive items.  He is so busted. 

She has been to the house in the last week while Scott was off on a motorcycle ride with friends, one of which is a mole for girlfriend.  She took lots of pictures of unclaimed items, but couldn't get into the garages or shop space.

Recently, she asked me to go with her to gather some gardening equipment and plants from her yard.  I did not want to go.  I am afraid that Scott will kill us both when he is in pissed off mode.  She asked Scott for the keys to the garage and shed to look for a fountain pump.  He gave them to her. So she took lots of pictures of the forgotten assets. 

When she brought the keys back in the house, Scott started in about the attorney expenses.  "You are just wasting money by asking for mediation," he said.  It is required by law.  "I will get you an offer next week and that should take care of it."  I don't think so.  Can't wait to hear it.  Then he says, "I'm still here and you're not." 

"But for how long?" she smiles.

"Remember what happened last time?"   

I am standing outside as things escalate.  I am pulling my phone out of my pocket when she comes out.  The "last time" he has referred to is when he poured gasoline on her and all over in the house, then threatened to light a match.  She has decided we will not be going back again.