Sunday

Gramma

It's a new day, a new page, a new me.  I've gotten a good night's sleep with the Quetapine boost.  I only take this when I need to sleep without ruminating half the night.  Taken on a daily basis, it will cause weight gain, which is my first consideration when I am prescribed anything.  My eldest son takes Quetapine as part of the cocktail of meds that keep him somewhat stabile.  He calls himself a fat, jolly man and then laughs.  I do not want to add to my fat battle.  Jolly is nowhere in my repertoire of emotions. 

I let the herd of barking dogs out.  The cold air feels good on my swollen face.  I manage egg Mc Muffin knock-offs for Dave, then retire to the couch for a day of dozing in front of the TV.  The aquarium is more interesting than what's on 2000 channels of shit.  I miss football season.  Go Pack Go.  Dave is a Vikings fan. 

Dog hair is building up on the floor.  Dave is not accustomed to doing much around the house.  He works.  I take care of most everything else inside and out.  I ask him to vacuum.  He "forgets."  "Can I get a Haircut?" he asks.  I forget. 

Dave calls his mother every day.  It used to drive me nuts, but now I get it.  There is always gossip of family or the senior center oldies she hangs with.  Eleanor is on Facebook keeping up with city gossip and extended family.  She is opinionated and has her nose in everybody's business.  The family used to call her Marie, as in What About Raymond. 

Eleanor is in her 80's and lives on her own in the house the three boys were raised in.  Glen has been gone for some years now.  She drives one of those shiny new old people cars.  They always have dents in them.  This one is no different.   It mostly goes to church, the grocery store, and the senior center, so maybe 30 miles a week. 

She said to me one time that she wished she would die in her sleep.  It wasn't meant as sometime in the future, she meant it as in sooner is better than later.  I appreciated the honesty of it.  She doesn't talk that way to the rest of the family.  Over the years, I have made no secret of my Emergency Facelift Fund.  She says, "You wouldn't do that would you?"  I don't think she would put anything past me.