Everybody Has Something

Bad Gramma

I have a brain scan today.  This is not what I want to do on the only nice day all week.  I need to clean out a garden bed at the end of the driveway.  I need to kill weeds and till up the dirt, maybe bleach the well.  But no, I have a brain tumor that we are tracking for size and attitude.  I threatened Dave that I wasn't going to do this if he put off having his knee replacement surgery again.  "I'll do it next year," he says, again. 

I don't like having to take off all my jewelry so the big magnet doesn't suck it off.  When Dave said all my bracelets looked ridiculous, I added more.  I look like a gypsy.  More is better.  Too much is just right. 

I kind of enjoy the weirdness of the head banging machine.  The noise is reminiscent of industrial music, which I don't mind.  I put on the headphones and listen to some background music.  I breathe deep and go into a meditative state.  I could have had the tumor taken out six months ago when it had doubled in size, but I didn't want to cut my hair. 

It is benign, or I would be dead by now.  It was discovered when I had an MRI done for a neck injury.  The doctor didn't call back and didn't call back.  So I called his office to ask what gives, I need my results.  The nurse said she would have the doctor call me.  He didn't.  I called again and the nurse said she would give me the results.  I waited on hold.  She came back and said that she would have the doctor call me.  WTF. 

The doctor called one evening.  He tells me that I have a brain tumor.  "What?" I say.

"You have a brain tumor and ....."  I didn't hear any words after that and then my shitty Verizon phone dropped the call.  I couldn't call back.  I sat there stunned.  Nice bedside manner.  Who delivers that kind of news over the phone? 

"Who was that?" Dave asked.  He always wants to know who called.  I tell him. 

"Now?  What did he want? 

"I have a brain tumor."

Now we are both stunned. 

The next day I call the office for an appointment to find out WTF.  The doctor shows me the images.  He tells me not to be worried, that it is a meningioma and they are usually not cancerous in women.  But, I should have brain scans every six months for a while. 

That was six years ago.  Sometimes I have balance issues, but then I drink and there's the bi-polar meds.  Sometimes I have trouble accessing words, but, there's old age approaching and then there's the meds, and stress.  Could be stress related.  I like when I can't access a simple word and something extravagant comes out.  I think my brain is re-circuiting.  I have headaches, but who doesn't.  Everybody has something.